There’s two halves.
Half of the time I’m full of positivity and possibility. I’m calm, cool, and collected. I’m confident and carry a certain swag with me.
Smooth words roll off my tongue, and all my jokes hit with precision.
I feel motivated and inspired.
I feel connected. I feel so much love and support from my people. I feel strong, in control, and EWOP (everything works out perfectly) is the motto.
It’s the side that I introduce to others. The side I show on social media.
And it’s 100% me
Then there’s this other half. It’s also 100% me.
It’s when I’m feeling lonely, scared, or unsure of myself.
It’s the side of fear, insecurity, & self-doubt. It’s embarrassing, mentally soft, and shameful.
It’s the little voice in my head that tells me to quit “playing” entrepreneur and get a “real” job. With a 401k and dental plan.
It’s the side of me that’s still a goofy kid inside, just wanting to play football and basketball with my friend Big Al in the cul-de-sac, fighting against the side that says to grow up, be mature, show professionalism, and “be realistic.”
I push this darker side of me down, I rarely show it to those closest to me. If I do, it means I really trust them.
This is dangerous. Social media is great in a lot of ways, but causes us to hide this shadow of ours more and more.
Carl Jung, the psychologist, is the one who identified this “shadow.” It’s the weaknesses, shortcomings, and imperfections of ourself.
It’s the part of us that we leave out of social media and sometimes out of our real lives. No wonder so many of us feel like islands to ourselves.
“Everyone carries a shadow, and the less it is embodied in the individuals life, the blacker and denser it become.” – Carol Jung
Basically, the more we deny and push this side of us away, the harder it hurts us. The stronger it becomes.
“Parading our strengths and hiding our shadow doesn’t win friends or influence people, and its an energy drain.” ~ Tony Schwartz, author
So not only is it normal to have these imperfections, it’s healthy. It’s HUMAN. Welcome to the club. It’s inspiring. Think about songs that touch your soul. What are they about?
Think about the most transformative times of your life? For most of us, it’s the dark times that push us to new heights. It’s the nasty break-up, tough loss, or broken nose that we remember most.
It’s not the cool, calm, & collected side of us that inspires others. It’s the imperfections that make us feel human. It’s the battles fought through and won that inspire.
We all poop, fart, get dirty, have insecurities, make mistakes, and change our minds. If you pretend that you don’t, it will only make the shadow stronger and heavier.
I’m in LA mooching off my sister and bro-in-law. I don’t know how long I’ll be here, and I don’t know where I’ll go next. I don’t know if I’ll succeed in life, and that scares me. I don’t know if Kels will like my shadow; that’s insecurity. I don’t know if I’m capable of being a businessman; that’s self-doubt.
Acknowledge it. Express it. Then keep moving forward in spite of it. Keep trying, keep moving, and remember, it’s “cool” to be human